October is Pastor Appreciation Month, and many of us want to say thank you to the person who preaches, prays, visits, and shows up when life falls apart. This year we made a simple way to do that. Here are honest answers to a few questions you might have.
1. What is Before You Quit?
Before You Quit: A Quiet Space for Pastors is a free, 11 page workbook from The Unquittable Church. It is a gift you can give your pastor, together with a personal note from you.
Inside, your pastor will find a short opening letter, a few gentle questions for reflection, room to pray, and a blessing. The letter begins plainly: "This is not homework. You do not have to decide anything today. This is a space to be honest with God, one sentence at a time."
2. Why October?
Churches have honored their pastors in many ways for a long time. The October tradition grew largely out of Focus on the Family, which began promoting Clergy Appreciation Month as a national observance in 1994, championed by H. B. London Jr., a longtime pastor who served as a "pastor to pastors" (Christianity Today). Focus on the Family suggested setting aside October for a special tribute, while reminding churches that honoring their pastors belongs to the whole year (Focus on the Family Canada).
So October is a good starting place, not a finish line.
3. Why a workbook and not a card?
A card is a kind thing to give, and you are welcome to give one too. A personal note that arrives with a quiet space for the soul simply goes a little deeper.
Pastors carry real weight, and many rarely say it out loud. In Lifeway Research's Greatest Needs of Pastors study, 69% of U.S. Protestant pastors named friendship and fellowship with others as a need they have to address, 64% named consistency in taking a Sabbath, and 63% named stress (Lifeway Research).
There is hopeful news, too. Barna reports that 24% of U.S. senior Protestant pastors seriously considered leaving full time ministry in the past year, down from a peak of 42% in March 2022. Barna also notes that pastors with stronger relational support are significantly less likely to consider leaving (Barna Group).
That is the heart of this gift. Your words remind your pastor they are not alone. The workbook gives them room to rest and be honest with God, at their own pace.
4. Is my pastor in trouble if I send this?
No. Sending this does not mean you think your pastor is failing, burning out, or about to quit. Weariness is human, and every faithful pastor carries seasons that are heavier than others.
This is encouragement, not a diagnosis. The workbook itself says it well: "Weariness is not a moral failure, and asking for help is not a lack of faith." Your note simply says, "I see you, and I am grateful."
5. How do I send it?
You may have seen our invitation pop up on unquittablechurch.com this month: "Thank your pastor in a way that actually helps. A personal note from you, plus a free Before You Quit workbook." Here is how it works:
- Tap Send the gift in that invitation, or go straight to the gift page at unquittablechurch.com/before-you-quit.
- Tap Email your pastor. Your own email app opens with a new message.
- The subject line is already filled in: "A small thank you for you, Pastor." The message includes a short starter note and the link to the free workbook.
- Add your pastor's email address in the To line and put their name at the top.
- Replace the placeholder with your own words. Change anything you like.
- Press send from your own email, just like any other message.
That is all. Your pastor receives your note and the workbook link, straight from you.
6. What should I write?
Write like you talk. A few honest sentences mean more than a polished paragraph. If you are not sure where to begin, here are a few ideas to adapt or ignore:
- Idea one: "Pastor, I wanted you to know I am thankful for you. You may not hear it often, but your faithfulness matters to me and to my family."
- Idea two: "Thank you for the way you care for our church. I am praying for you this month, and I hope this gives you a little room to breathe."
- Idea three: "I don't need you to reply. I just wanted you to know that you are seen and appreciated."
If one specific moment comes to mind, a sermon that stayed with you or a time your pastor showed up, name it. Specific thanks often lands the deepest.
7. Is it really free and private?
Yes. The workbook is free. There is no form to fill out on our site, and we do not collect your email address or your pastor's. The message goes from your own email app to your pastor, so you see exactly what is sent, and we never see it at all.
8. I'm a pastor, and someone sent me this. Now what?
First, receive the thank you. Someone in your church noticed you and took time to say so. Let that be enough for today.
You do not have to open the workbook right away, and you do not have to finish it. There is nothing to turn in and no one checking. When you are ready, take one page at a time. You will find room to name whatever is weighing on you, whether that is brokenness, burnout, or boredom, and to sit with it before God. There is also space to think about one safe person you could talk to.
Receiving this gift says nothing about how well you are leading. As the opening note puts it, "The One who called you is not surprised by your limits." God's grace has not run out on you, and it will not. The last page says it simply: "You are not alone. Grace is still here."
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9. When does it end?
The invitation runs through October 31, the end of Pastor Appreciation Month. There is no need to rush. And a note of thanks is welcome any time of year.
10. What's next for pastors who want to hear from their people?
If you are a pastor who wants to know how your people are really doing, Unquittable Pulse is a short, anonymous check that helps you hear from your people honestly: who is leaning in, and who may be quietly stepping back. The first month is free.
It is one small way to listen well, and it pairs naturally with the 6 Unquittable Actions, which help church leaders prevent brokenness, burnout, and boredom before they take root.
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Quick assessment that shows where brokenness, burnout, and boredom are showing up — plus clear next steps.
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Resources
If you would like to keep going, here are a few places to start, whenever you are ready:
- Send the gift: Before You Quit gift page (available through October 31)
- Unquittable Pulse: pulse.unquittablechurch.com, first month free
- Free leadership workshops: unquittablechurch.com/courses
- The book: The Unquittable Church
- The blog: unquittablechurch.com/blog
Thank you for loving your pastor. Grace is still here, for them and for you.
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